My friend Melissa once posted something like this to her blog, which is my inspiration today.
At our house...
We don't have a pillow and a wooden spoon... We have a canoe and paddle.
We don't have stuffed animals... We have a pet shop or a zoo.
We don't have a bed rail on the bunk bed... We have a balance beam or sometimes a high wire.
We don't have a kiddie pool... We have a water factory.
We don't have an upside down Little Tykes car... We have a helicopter.
We don't have a picnic table... We have a dancing stage for pretty ladies.
We don't have a sandbox... We have a sailing ship.
We don't have piles of unpacked boxes... We have apartment buildings for Little People and dolls.
We don't have a bath tub.... We have an ocean full of sharks, whales, and octopi.
We don't have a couch and love seat... We have castles and forts.
We don't have a rocking chair... We have a royal throne.
We don't have big, black crow feathers in the yard... We have old fashioned pencils, and magical combs.
We don't have towels... We have superhero capes.
We don't have card tables and blankets... We have wild, scary caves.
We don't have mom and dad's wool socks... We have mountain climbing boots.
We don't have a play house... We have a McDonald's drive through.
We don't have tricycles... We have super, flying motorcycles.
What do you have at your house?
Friday, August 05, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
What's Up?!?!
We're past the midpoint of summer, more than two months since my last blog post. SO, what have we been up to?
TOO MUCH!!!
Life is just busy and complicated around here. Here is a random sampling:
several house guests, including visits from family and friends
a "temporary" and often spontaneous "roommate"
a trip to Iowa City to visit the Thompsons
an overpriced pedicure at a beauty school, lasting 3.5 hours
swimming lessons
play dates
birthday parties
looking at at least 25 houses for sale
making an offer on a house
"loosing" the house to a different buyer
prepping our current house for renting
five days at Hannah's cabin, doing every possible fun cabiny activity
riding bikes and trikes
4th of July day trip to Stillwater
lots of late nights
a bit of gardening
a handful of unauthorized haircuts
one unauthorized shaved eyebrow
throwing a successful surprise birthday party for Becca
helping Ashley plan and execute her wedding
Eric losing 20 lbs (and counting...)
laughing at Esther's way of making just about anything charming and hilarious
playing kickball (new favorite "sport") with Eva and Hope
listening to Esther talk and talk and TALK
So, that's an idea of what we've been doing. What we've NOT been doing, is sleeping.
Hoping for an early bedtime,
Becca
TOO MUCH!!!
Life is just busy and complicated around here. Here is a random sampling:
several house guests, including visits from family and friends
a "temporary" and often spontaneous "roommate"
a trip to Iowa City to visit the Thompsons
an overpriced pedicure at a beauty school, lasting 3.5 hours
swimming lessons
play dates
birthday parties
looking at at least 25 houses for sale
making an offer on a house
"loosing" the house to a different buyer
prepping our current house for renting
five days at Hannah's cabin, doing every possible fun cabiny activity
riding bikes and trikes
4th of July day trip to Stillwater
lots of late nights
a bit of gardening
a handful of unauthorized haircuts
one unauthorized shaved eyebrow
throwing a successful surprise birthday party for Becca
helping Ashley plan and execute her wedding
Eric losing 20 lbs (and counting...)
laughing at Esther's way of making just about anything charming and hilarious
playing kickball (new favorite "sport") with Eva and Hope
listening to Esther talk and talk and TALK
So, that's an idea of what we've been doing. What we've NOT been doing, is sleeping.
Hoping for an early bedtime,
Becca
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Eva Turns Six
(if you're not Eva or family, you might want to scan this... it got super long :)
My Dear Eva,
You've completed a sixth year, and you're on to your seventh with great excitement! This has been a beautiful year for you. I confess, I never did write a birthday letter for you when you turned five. For several months surrounding your fifth birthday we were struggling. Always, constantly, heart wrecking, anger inducing struggling. I didn't know what to write last year, and I was so frustrated. You already know this, but moms get tangled up in their sin too, and I was really weighed down by it last spring. Well, this year is a little different. You seem to have moved past that rough patch, and by God's grace, made some major leaps forward.
To be honest, we noticed a significant change in you during last summer. Almost overnight you went from constantly combative to generally considerate and desiring to grow in godliness. We adventured all summer long- swimming, hiking, biking, gardening, imagining. I asked you tonight at dinner what your favorite memories of the last year were. "Playing with Katherine", you said. We remembered that super fun afternoon in Colorado when you and my cousin Katherine discovered the joy of building mountain forts and creating kingdoms among the huge rock outcroppings. You bravely climbed 20 feet in the air to be on top of the big boulders, declaring your reign and rule to every scraggly pine tree in the area.
You and Katherine threw pine cones at anyone who ventured near, but were eventually captured by courageous enemy knights otherwise known as your fathers. You had hiked so far to find your kingdom that I couldn't see you at all. But I could hear your strong voices echoing in the rocks. I sat at the picnic table, breathing deeply of the piny dry air and savouring this adventure with you. I thank you for transporting me back to my own childhood for a brief moment, reliving my own exhilarating, high altitude adventures of rocks and sticks and vertical endeavors.
Another big adventure for us all was "kinder". Senora Ponce Carmona welcomed you with a hug on the first day, and by now you are fiercely loyal to her. She has been a good teacher for you, recognizing your strengths, but pushing you to expand your repetoire and try some challenging things. Ahora puedes hablar todo el tiempo en espanol... por supuesto no pudes hablar con la reina de Espana de cosas muy altas, pero en casa y en la escuela eres muy capaz de comunicar. Nos gusta hablar en secreto y hacer chistes de tu papa. De vez en cuando, me dices algo que no comprendo, y yo realizo que vayas a hablar muy bien el espanol, mejor que yo, en poco tiempo.
Spanish immersion kindergarten was truly the right choice. I'm so glad that we humbly accepted the strong "gut" feelings that Daddy and I both had and let you out the door. It felt so early... you are little still. But school has given you much independence, stretched your brain in ways that I never could, and been such fun. Yesterday you did the Spanish version of "eenie, meenie, miny, moh" while you and Hope were playing, and it was so fun for me to listen and learn something new. We have loved watching your reading and writing absolutely explode in English and Spanish simultaneously. I think your favorite book to read in Spanish right now is "Es tu Mama una Llama?" and in English is "Come Back Amelia Bedelia". Of course you LOVE crossover books, and you are currently enthralled with the Spanish/English rhyming in "Say Hola to Spanish".
Friends are becoming very important to you too, although you are generally introverted and need plenty of alone time. Right now your best friends at school are Mari and Kate. Among our family friends, you really love to play with Kara, who has lived in our neighborhood for this school year. Some days you and Hope adore each other and play beautifully together, and other days you grate on each other's nerves the whole time. I guess that's how it goes with sisters! When it comes down to it though (like nights when you are scared of imaginary ghosts and shark attacks), it sure is nice to have a sister to snuggle with in bed.
In our family, you are growing into a fantastic older sister and helper. You've learned how to do a few simple cooking tasks like frying eggs, making toast, and getting drinks. We call on you often to get a snack for Esther or Hope and to help me set the table at dinnertime. You almost always respond with cheerful willingness, which is a real blessing to your busy parents. Esther loves it when you read to her, help her walk down the stairs, or play silly little games with her. You are becoming a wonderful role model for both of your sisters!
The biggest growth this year, the one we are most thankful for, is your heart towards God. You have always been interested in God and have easily grasped spiritual concepts, which is a good thing. However, your heart has not always been tender and soft towards Him. We realized that was changing one night this winter when you pulled Daddy towards you at bedtime to ask some very important questions. All the talking, thinking, praying, and learning about God was penetrating your heart, and you had a few things to clarify. That night Daddy encouraged you to confess your sins to God and put your full trust in Jesus' death on the cross to cover those sins. He told you that you couldn't do anything to earn God's favor, and from experience you already knew that you had done plenty of things against God. Later that night, and many nights since, we have heard you quietly thanking God for sending Jesus as the payment for your sin and confessing your love to God the Father.
As the eyes of your heart have opened to the gospel, we've watched in amazement as your behavior and attitudes have gradually been more and more governed by the Holy Spirit. Of course you are still a child and act as a child often (just as Mommy and Daddy still struggle with sin as well), but heart change is beautiful. The greatest thing we desire for you is that you experience the joy of knowing Jesus Christ and the fellowship of the Body of believers. We are so happy to see that God is bringing you down that path and pray for more fruit in years to come!
This is a long letter, dear daughter, but it is only because Daddy and Mommy are so thankful for you and enjoy you so much! Little things about you right now that we want to remember- you love all things about school, but especially reading, science, math, and art. You draw all the time, and just this week figured out how to make shoulders look more realistic :). You create math problems in your head... this week it has been things like 50 x 10 = 500 or 30 x 10 = 300. Science right now is all about worms and seeds. You tell me (in Spanish, of course) tons of interesting tidbits about worms around the world. You are silly, love to laugh, and daydream about your plans for the future (currently including violin lessons, piano lessons, and getting a dog). You oppose cheese, but eat TONS of anything and everything else.
You are still competitive, contemplative, and cautious. When you grow up, you would like to be a Children's Librarian or a Veterinarian. You blush, get giddy, and show tons of interest in any kind of love story... you are probably a little boy-crazy already! Your favorite colors are blue and orange, and although you like jewelry and make-up, you don't prefer super girly stuff. Your weekend attire is always yoga pants and a baggy sweatshirt, so you and I match quite often! (Actually that's an understatement. You absolutely insist on wearing "comfy clothes" such as fleece pants, pajama pants, and sweatshirts as much as possible.) You are currently enjoying swimming lessons, but are patiently waiting for the "real deal", which will be ballet in the fall.
Basically, Eva, we love you so much and are blessed to be your parents. We're thankful that you are in our family! Happy 6th Birthday!
love, Daddy and Mommy
My Dear Eva,
You've completed a sixth year, and you're on to your seventh with great excitement! This has been a beautiful year for you. I confess, I never did write a birthday letter for you when you turned five. For several months surrounding your fifth birthday we were struggling. Always, constantly, heart wrecking, anger inducing struggling. I didn't know what to write last year, and I was so frustrated. You already know this, but moms get tangled up in their sin too, and I was really weighed down by it last spring. Well, this year is a little different. You seem to have moved past that rough patch, and by God's grace, made some major leaps forward.
To be honest, we noticed a significant change in you during last summer. Almost overnight you went from constantly combative to generally considerate and desiring to grow in godliness. We adventured all summer long- swimming, hiking, biking, gardening, imagining. I asked you tonight at dinner what your favorite memories of the last year were. "Playing with Katherine", you said. We remembered that super fun afternoon in Colorado when you and my cousin Katherine discovered the joy of building mountain forts and creating kingdoms among the huge rock outcroppings. You bravely climbed 20 feet in the air to be on top of the big boulders, declaring your reign and rule to every scraggly pine tree in the area.
You and Katherine threw pine cones at anyone who ventured near, but were eventually captured by courageous enemy knights otherwise known as your fathers. You had hiked so far to find your kingdom that I couldn't see you at all. But I could hear your strong voices echoing in the rocks. I sat at the picnic table, breathing deeply of the piny dry air and savouring this adventure with you. I thank you for transporting me back to my own childhood for a brief moment, reliving my own exhilarating, high altitude adventures of rocks and sticks and vertical endeavors.
Another big adventure for us all was "kinder". Senora Ponce Carmona welcomed you with a hug on the first day, and by now you are fiercely loyal to her. She has been a good teacher for you, recognizing your strengths, but pushing you to expand your repetoire and try some challenging things. Ahora puedes hablar todo el tiempo en espanol... por supuesto no pudes hablar con la reina de Espana de cosas muy altas, pero en casa y en la escuela eres muy capaz de comunicar. Nos gusta hablar en secreto y hacer chistes de tu papa. De vez en cuando, me dices algo que no comprendo, y yo realizo que vayas a hablar muy bien el espanol, mejor que yo, en poco tiempo.
Spanish immersion kindergarten was truly the right choice. I'm so glad that we humbly accepted the strong "gut" feelings that Daddy and I both had and let you out the door. It felt so early... you are little still. But school has given you much independence, stretched your brain in ways that I never could, and been such fun. Yesterday you did the Spanish version of "eenie, meenie, miny, moh" while you and Hope were playing, and it was so fun for me to listen and learn something new. We have loved watching your reading and writing absolutely explode in English and Spanish simultaneously. I think your favorite book to read in Spanish right now is "Es tu Mama una Llama?" and in English is "Come Back Amelia Bedelia". Of course you LOVE crossover books, and you are currently enthralled with the Spanish/English rhyming in "Say Hola to Spanish".
Friends are becoming very important to you too, although you are generally introverted and need plenty of alone time. Right now your best friends at school are Mari and Kate. Among our family friends, you really love to play with Kara, who has lived in our neighborhood for this school year. Some days you and Hope adore each other and play beautifully together, and other days you grate on each other's nerves the whole time. I guess that's how it goes with sisters! When it comes down to it though (like nights when you are scared of imaginary ghosts and shark attacks), it sure is nice to have a sister to snuggle with in bed.
In our family, you are growing into a fantastic older sister and helper. You've learned how to do a few simple cooking tasks like frying eggs, making toast, and getting drinks. We call on you often to get a snack for Esther or Hope and to help me set the table at dinnertime. You almost always respond with cheerful willingness, which is a real blessing to your busy parents. Esther loves it when you read to her, help her walk down the stairs, or play silly little games with her. You are becoming a wonderful role model for both of your sisters!
The biggest growth this year, the one we are most thankful for, is your heart towards God. You have always been interested in God and have easily grasped spiritual concepts, which is a good thing. However, your heart has not always been tender and soft towards Him. We realized that was changing one night this winter when you pulled Daddy towards you at bedtime to ask some very important questions. All the talking, thinking, praying, and learning about God was penetrating your heart, and you had a few things to clarify. That night Daddy encouraged you to confess your sins to God and put your full trust in Jesus' death on the cross to cover those sins. He told you that you couldn't do anything to earn God's favor, and from experience you already knew that you had done plenty of things against God. Later that night, and many nights since, we have heard you quietly thanking God for sending Jesus as the payment for your sin and confessing your love to God the Father.
As the eyes of your heart have opened to the gospel, we've watched in amazement as your behavior and attitudes have gradually been more and more governed by the Holy Spirit. Of course you are still a child and act as a child often (just as Mommy and Daddy still struggle with sin as well), but heart change is beautiful. The greatest thing we desire for you is that you experience the joy of knowing Jesus Christ and the fellowship of the Body of believers. We are so happy to see that God is bringing you down that path and pray for more fruit in years to come!
This is a long letter, dear daughter, but it is only because Daddy and Mommy are so thankful for you and enjoy you so much! Little things about you right now that we want to remember- you love all things about school, but especially reading, science, math, and art. You draw all the time, and just this week figured out how to make shoulders look more realistic :). You create math problems in your head... this week it has been things like 50 x 10 = 500 or 30 x 10 = 300. Science right now is all about worms and seeds. You tell me (in Spanish, of course) tons of interesting tidbits about worms around the world. You are silly, love to laugh, and daydream about your plans for the future (currently including violin lessons, piano lessons, and getting a dog). You oppose cheese, but eat TONS of anything and everything else.
You are still competitive, contemplative, and cautious. When you grow up, you would like to be a Children's Librarian or a Veterinarian. You blush, get giddy, and show tons of interest in any kind of love story... you are probably a little boy-crazy already! Your favorite colors are blue and orange, and although you like jewelry and make-up, you don't prefer super girly stuff. Your weekend attire is always yoga pants and a baggy sweatshirt, so you and I match quite often! (Actually that's an understatement. You absolutely insist on wearing "comfy clothes" such as fleece pants, pajama pants, and sweatshirts as much as possible.) You are currently enjoying swimming lessons, but are patiently waiting for the "real deal", which will be ballet in the fall.
Basically, Eva, we love you so much and are blessed to be your parents. We're thankful that you are in our family! Happy 6th Birthday!
love, Daddy and Mommy
Friday, April 22, 2011
Food Day Friday: Strawberry PB Smoothies
Did you know that peanut butter and jelly milkshakes were a huge fad in the 1930's? Can you say "Calories!!!"? During my 4th grade homeschooling stint, my mom and I studied the 1930's. For a little fun diversion, we set up a family movie night one Friday evening. We checked out an old fashioned projector and several reels of film from the library. We whipped up some popcorn and dimmed the living room lights. Charlie Chaplin and Fred Astaire lit up the blank living room wall in black and white. The slapstick comedy was totally funny to my elementary brain. Some of the moving pictures even had sound! And then there were the peanut butter and jelly milkshakes... We enjoyed those shakes, and I've often thought of them since. This morning, since we are out of eggs and I didn't plan ahead to soak any grains, it was a smoothie breakfast. It is also a swimming lessons day, so we need protein! No eggs to throw in? Enter peanut butter!
We all really enjoyed this recipe, and I think it would make a fantastic after school snack. Or maybe it would do well frozen as Popsicles for a hot summer afternoon. 
Strawberry PB Smoothies
1 c. raw whole milk
1 c. plain kefir
1/2 c. natural smooth peanut butter
1 T. ground flax seeds
16 frozen strawberries
1/2 t. vanilla extract
optional sweetener to taste (stevia, raw honey, maple syrup, sucanat - I used stevia)
Throw it all in a blender, mix it up, and enjoy! This recipe seems like it would survive lots of different substitutions, so have fun and try something new :). Serves 4.
(frozen strawberries and flax meal)
I like this as a nourishing breakfast because, among other things, it supplies lots of the following: fiber, Omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin C, calcium, magnesium, vitamin D, probiotics, and protein. Happy Healthy Eating!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Young Diego(a) Rivera
Eva LOVES art, and creating "murals" on our kitchen appliances, windows, and mirrors has been an entertaining winter activity. Eva's cousin Elysa gifted her with these neato window crayons at Christmas and they have been thoroughly put to the test. They are much easier to clean than I anticipated and are lasting a long time. I endorse this product.
Randomly, one of the most commonly drawn murals has been the solar system. It is never quite the same each time, varying in spelling, size, and alignment. At this age, precision matters little to me. I just love to see curiosity being expressed by our little girls trying to wrap their minds around this big world!
Translation: the Sun, Jupiter, the Moon, Saturn, the Earth, Venus, and Mars. Considering she spends her whole day learning formal spelling in Spanish, I am very pleased with her attempts at English spelling! 
Watching kids create: yet another reason I LOVE MY JOB!!!
Randomly, one of the most commonly drawn murals has been the solar system. It is never quite the same each time, varying in spelling, size, and alignment. At this age, precision matters little to me. I just love to see curiosity being expressed by our little girls trying to wrap their minds around this big world!
Translation: the Sun, Jupiter, the Moon, Saturn, the Earth, Venus, and Mars. Considering she spends her whole day learning formal spelling in Spanish, I am very pleased with her attempts at English spelling! 
Watching kids create: yet another reason I LOVE MY JOB!!!
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Spring Daybook
Today marked our first day of playing outside for the majority of the day. My eyes are sun scorched as I write this, stinging and watery, as if I'd played one too many rounds of "Marco Polo" on the chlorinated pool floor. It's all good though, reminds me that summer is coming, when almost every day will be a sunshiny, eye scorching. Vitamin D filled adventure.
The girls burst into the backyard with heightened senses and well rested imaginations. Hope is mastering our fleet of tricycles, and Eva was slightly ashamed to find out that all of the other neighborhood kindergartners already ride 2-wheelers. Hallelujah- She is asking to learn to ride her bike! Esther is mastering nothing but her one finger walking skills. Although she walks on her own regularly now, she still insists on travelling any distance with a firm grip on one of our fingers. I am impatient and cannot savour this crawling stage any longer (going on 10 mths). Get up and run already, kid!
Hope's preschool co-op met at our house this morning, and we spent a lovely hour nature walking. Perfect weather, well behaved children, lots to see and explore. I LOVE the curiosity of preschoolers. After pasting pine needles, dried leaves, yarn, bark, and other treasures into little construction paper books, there were still several full bags of pine cones, leaves, rocks, etc. left for play. Esther spent a good 45 minutes of the afternoon on the picnic table, managing her own little science experiment. How many of these objects will fit through the umbrella hole? That's too big- that's too small- wow, that rock falls fast! The small mountain of organic matter under the picnic table speaks to a well spent afternoon of inquiry.
The older girls moved to Hawaii, where bikinis are essential. They rolled up their pants and shirts to their chests while Eva sang a little song about a bikini in Spanish. Their Hawaiian homes were constructed of cardboard boxes (left from our bulk food order yesterday) and pine boughs (yes, left from our Christmas tree). Eva was especially pleased with her thatch (pine) roof. Later the cardboard boxes transformed into sailing vessels and they made their maiden voyages to China, Florida, New Mexico, and Guatemala. Hope's British accent gave the whole adventure a very dignified edge, especially when she shouted again and again, "Oh Mother, there is a shark in the water!" Another afternoon well spent. And as Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage..."
I'm thinking garden... a few tulips and daffodils have poked through the mulched leaves. I'll probably pull back their covers tomorrow and hope for the best. No more snow, right!?! We ate strawberry spinach salads with leftover pork two nights in a row. Salad feels gloriously like summer.
Girls fell asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow tonight, and I am ready for the same.
Welcome back sunshine!
The girls burst into the backyard with heightened senses and well rested imaginations. Hope is mastering our fleet of tricycles, and Eva was slightly ashamed to find out that all of the other neighborhood kindergartners already ride 2-wheelers. Hallelujah- She is asking to learn to ride her bike! Esther is mastering nothing but her one finger walking skills. Although she walks on her own regularly now, she still insists on travelling any distance with a firm grip on one of our fingers. I am impatient and cannot savour this crawling stage any longer (going on 10 mths). Get up and run already, kid!
Hope's preschool co-op met at our house this morning, and we spent a lovely hour nature walking. Perfect weather, well behaved children, lots to see and explore. I LOVE the curiosity of preschoolers. After pasting pine needles, dried leaves, yarn, bark, and other treasures into little construction paper books, there were still several full bags of pine cones, leaves, rocks, etc. left for play. Esther spent a good 45 minutes of the afternoon on the picnic table, managing her own little science experiment. How many of these objects will fit through the umbrella hole? That's too big- that's too small- wow, that rock falls fast! The small mountain of organic matter under the picnic table speaks to a well spent afternoon of inquiry.
The older girls moved to Hawaii, where bikinis are essential. They rolled up their pants and shirts to their chests while Eva sang a little song about a bikini in Spanish. Their Hawaiian homes were constructed of cardboard boxes (left from our bulk food order yesterday) and pine boughs (yes, left from our Christmas tree). Eva was especially pleased with her thatch (pine) roof. Later the cardboard boxes transformed into sailing vessels and they made their maiden voyages to China, Florida, New Mexico, and Guatemala. Hope's British accent gave the whole adventure a very dignified edge, especially when she shouted again and again, "Oh Mother, there is a shark in the water!" Another afternoon well spent. And as Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage..."
I'm thinking garden... a few tulips and daffodils have poked through the mulched leaves. I'll probably pull back their covers tomorrow and hope for the best. No more snow, right!?! We ate strawberry spinach salads with leftover pork two nights in a row. Salad feels gloriously like summer.
Girls fell asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow tonight, and I am ready for the same.
Welcome back sunshine!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Thoughts on Lent
We've never celebrated Lent with much intensity around here. I recall in high school possibly trying to "give something up" for Lent, and maybe I did something similar when we were first married. This year, however, I am in the midst of a Lent journey. We aren't doing special readings or following a Lenten calendar, but I have been inspired to fast from something. Also, as a friend insightfully pointed out, you can't put something off and not put something on in it's place. So, I am also trying to "put on", welcoming Him.
It's not that I'm using Lent as a habit making or habit breaking, 40 day crash diet. No, this time around, I see Lent as an opportunity to explore my cravings and my longings. I want to be hungry for Christ and immeasurably grateful on the day that we celebrate his glorious resurrection. In my mind, each time I chose to meditate on Christ and his sufferings, I am inching closer to that happy Sunday morning. I am making a deposit of yearning in the joy tank of my soul. I have another opportunity to die to self and live to Christ, saying "I need YOU." As my yearnings, longings, cravings, hungers increase over a short 40 days time, I am believing that the Holy Spirit will come and transform desires into ache for Him, the crucified one.
You see, I am simple, sinful, addicted. After the long list of synonyms used above, you might be led to believe that I'm really suffering, making myself battle with basic needs in the hope of enlightenment. No, it's much simpler than that. All I'm saying "no" to is sweets, desserts, sugar treats. But however simple and silly that may be, I'm opening the window of my soul to say "yes" to more of Him.
Although it hasn't been a monumental struggle, I have been spent at times. And the needy one cries out to God, saying "More! Please. I need you." Can there possibly be a better place to find yourself? I am enjoying saying "no", believing that the Father says "yes! I will fill you. I will help you. I am."
Eva mulled it over and decided to give up arguing. She has had to plead with her sister to stop inciting her to anger for the sake of her fast. It is a beautiful thing to see her desperate, and ultimately longing for the help of the Holy Spirit. We yearn together and talk together.
Most of the time, I am happy to not be eating sweets. Anyway, my brain is less foggy this way and my energy more even through the day. But each time I say, "I need you", I am looking forward to Easter. Forward to victory, to resurrection, to the day when we shall see Him face to face. Longing is good for me.
Here is my inspiration to fast this year.
Elizabeth writes a compelling tale.
Ann's words simultaneously sting and sweetly heal.
It's not that I'm using Lent as a habit making or habit breaking, 40 day crash diet. No, this time around, I see Lent as an opportunity to explore my cravings and my longings. I want to be hungry for Christ and immeasurably grateful on the day that we celebrate his glorious resurrection. In my mind, each time I chose to meditate on Christ and his sufferings, I am inching closer to that happy Sunday morning. I am making a deposit of yearning in the joy tank of my soul. I have another opportunity to die to self and live to Christ, saying "I need YOU." As my yearnings, longings, cravings, hungers increase over a short 40 days time, I am believing that the Holy Spirit will come and transform desires into ache for Him, the crucified one.
You see, I am simple, sinful, addicted. After the long list of synonyms used above, you might be led to believe that I'm really suffering, making myself battle with basic needs in the hope of enlightenment. No, it's much simpler than that. All I'm saying "no" to is sweets, desserts, sugar treats. But however simple and silly that may be, I'm opening the window of my soul to say "yes" to more of Him.
Although it hasn't been a monumental struggle, I have been spent at times. And the needy one cries out to God, saying "More! Please. I need you." Can there possibly be a better place to find yourself? I am enjoying saying "no", believing that the Father says "yes! I will fill you. I will help you. I am."
Eva mulled it over and decided to give up arguing. She has had to plead with her sister to stop inciting her to anger for the sake of her fast. It is a beautiful thing to see her desperate, and ultimately longing for the help of the Holy Spirit. We yearn together and talk together.
Most of the time, I am happy to not be eating sweets. Anyway, my brain is less foggy this way and my energy more even through the day. But each time I say, "I need you", I am looking forward to Easter. Forward to victory, to resurrection, to the day when we shall see Him face to face. Longing is good for me.
Here is my inspiration to fast this year.
Elizabeth writes a compelling tale.
Ann's words simultaneously sting and sweetly heal.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
More deep things
***this is a continued post***
The moments continued. There were other words, other Scripture, other prayers. The Holy Spirit was moving in and out and between his people, allowing us a brief taste of the joys of paradise forever with Him. Allowing us to see Jesus better.
It came to me again, "We are small." Then the picture became clearer. Ecclesiastes. Life is meaningless. There is nothing new under the sun. We are small.
I spend all of Friday and Saturday in my head. Thinking, feeling, yearning. I want to understand! Why is it so important that I know that He loves me? Do I know that? Do I feel that? I feel blessed. Refreshed. Fortified. The Holy Spirit's presence and surprise giftings excite me. I am exhausted still, but I cannot nap. I can only think. pray. read more of His Word. I am drawn, the Holy Spirit is working in me, drawing me closer. I can't explain this longing for more. It is not natural to me. It is otherworldly... a taste of Glory.
Sunday morning brings family conflict and struggle. It also brings peace. In the presence of other believers, I feel rest. I let the words of the songs swell and wash over me. I watch my girl earnestly singing next to me, fighting to keep pace with young reading skills. She knows. She prays each night into her pillow, "Thank you for loving me, even when I disobey you." She has childlike faith. She knows she is small.
Our dear friend and pastor stands to preach his final sermon. With trembling voice, he begins to share his parting words for us. If he were to share just one thing, this is it.
And I was undone again. I sat next to my husband, tears falling on both of our cheeks. We're shaking. My view of my sin must be great. The view of Christ must be greater still! Again, "He. loves. us. We are small. He gave his son for us."
We stand with the congregation at the end singing, "Jesus Messiah. Name above all Names. Blessed Redeemer. Emmanuel. Rescue for Sinners. Ransom from Heaven. Jesus Messiah. Lord of All." Arms outstretched. Steady tears falling. Gasping for air. I am wrecked by this love. He has come hard after me in only a few short days. Why me? How can I know HIM more? How will he make me, small, wretched sinner, "the righteousness of God"? Why does he love us so?
All is grace.
The moments continued. There were other words, other Scripture, other prayers. The Holy Spirit was moving in and out and between his people, allowing us a brief taste of the joys of paradise forever with Him. Allowing us to see Jesus better.
It came to me again, "We are small." Then the picture became clearer. Ecclesiastes. Life is meaningless. There is nothing new under the sun. We are small.
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternityHe loves us. We are small. he is BIG. He wraps us into his story. His redemptive story, which we cannot fathom. We are running after perfect houses, coordinating swimming lessons schedules, fluoride free toothpaste, matching picture-day outfits, new bathrooms. He is writing an epic story, transcending space and time, starting before the foundation of the world, the destination: HIM. I am undone.
in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from
beginning to end." (vs. 3:11)
I spend all of Friday and Saturday in my head. Thinking, feeling, yearning. I want to understand! Why is it so important that I know that He loves me? Do I know that? Do I feel that? I feel blessed. Refreshed. Fortified. The Holy Spirit's presence and surprise giftings excite me. I am exhausted still, but I cannot nap. I can only think. pray. read more of His Word. I am drawn, the Holy Spirit is working in me, drawing me closer. I can't explain this longing for more. It is not natural to me. It is otherworldly... a taste of Glory.
Sunday morning brings family conflict and struggle. It also brings peace. In the presence of other believers, I feel rest. I let the words of the songs swell and wash over me. I watch my girl earnestly singing next to me, fighting to keep pace with young reading skills. She knows. She prays each night into her pillow, "Thank you for loving me, even when I disobey you." She has childlike faith. She knows she is small.
Our dear friend and pastor stands to preach his final sermon. With trembling voice, he begins to share his parting words for us. If he were to share just one thing, this is it.
"For I decided to know nothing among you except Christ and Him crucified." (1He moves on to share the meat of his message from 2 Corinthians 5. Several bullet points, but I was unable to take any notes. For 45 minutes he gave fresh words to stale truths- I am calloused to the glory of the gospel! The righteousness of God, the wrath of God, the redeemed sinner, the ministry of reconciliation. The greatest weight of the sermon was on this point though,
Corinthians 2:2).
"For our sake he made him to be sin, who knew no sin, so that in him we
might become the righteousness of God." (2 Cor. 5:21)
And I was undone again. I sat next to my husband, tears falling on both of our cheeks. We're shaking. My view of my sin must be great. The view of Christ must be greater still! Again, "He. loves. us. We are small. He gave his son for us."
We stand with the congregation at the end singing, "Jesus Messiah. Name above all Names. Blessed Redeemer. Emmanuel. Rescue for Sinners. Ransom from Heaven. Jesus Messiah. Lord of All." Arms outstretched. Steady tears falling. Gasping for air. I am wrecked by this love. He has come hard after me in only a few short days. Why me? How can I know HIM more? How will he make me, small, wretched sinner, "the righteousness of God"? Why does he love us so?
All is grace.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Going a little bit deeper than "stroller derby"
I want to write about what God's been doing in my heart. But it's deep, and it's personal, and it's so important that I am afraid to write. Afraid the words will come out wrong. Or maybe they won't come at all. Or perhaps it will be one of those posts that just rambles on with no clear direction or cohesiveness. In this moment it's a risk I'm willing to take, so please bear with me. I blog because I think in narrative. It is good for me to put my stories out there, no matter what sort of quality my writing might be. This post has been writing itself in my head for a few days now, and I must let it live.
I've been reading good books lately and thinking about important things. Soul work. I am slowly softened, continually regenerated. The Holy Spirit comes and guides me, purposefully it seems, to the stuff I need to hear, need to read, need to savour. This past week, a new wind began to blow in my devotions. Tuesday night (Wednesday morning, really), I sat with glazed eyes and watched Eric and Aaron play their 1,000th game of Tetris that night. It wasn't mind numbing though- real conversation was happening. The men were talking, building each other up, this is the technology-age take on sitting in the boat fishin' and talkin' about nothin'. You know how guys have to DO something to bond. Anyway, finally Aaron announced that he really needed to go. He had to get up early for Ecclesiastes, to read it. He said, "It's kind of blowing my mind." I asked why, and he told me.
Next morning, I was sucked into Ecclesiastes too. Solomon had done it all. He was the wisest man to ever live. The richest man in the land, he travelled the known world and tried it all: women, food, drink, adventure, power, insight, pleasure. His final word on all of it- "There is nothing new under the sun." Ultimately, life is a breath. In the end, we all die. In the end, your Nobel Peace Prize is going to rot. Your banking empire will be handed down to someone who will squander it. Even your lifelong investment in training and loving your own children may be all for naught. Again and again, Solomon declares "This too is meaningless."
Slowly, so slowly I was getting a picture. A feeling. Ecclesiastes compelled me. Instead of feeling disheartened and despairing by the "meaningless" state of life, I was stable, steady, at peace. Wednesday morning, Thursday morning, I read and read. I drank in the repetitive nature of the book,
Extended prayer time wasn't fatiguing. There were heartfelt petitions for employment, healing, refreshing. Tears were poured and hearts were laid bare, desiring more. More from God, would the Holy Spirit come and meet us? A Brother believed that God was giving him a tongue for the Body. Yes, that. Speaking in tongues at a small group. I'd never heard it before, but I *we* believe that it isn't outside the realm of possibility. We are open, and so we prayed and invited the Holy Spirit and all His giftings, including discernment.
He prayed and we listened, silently asking for interpretation. Willing, but travelling uncharted waters. Like a child who looks to their parent, "Is this OK dad? I've never done this before.", looking for the assuring smile and nod from Father. I sensed that more was coming. The Holy Spirit was moving, washing through the room, coming over me with warm pressure. Scared, dependent, shaking, on the edge of a precipice of faith. We're not used to following. It still feels scary, bringing an unfamiliar rush. This feeling is distantly familiar, but it makes the breath catch in my throat each time. Then the interpretation came,
That was my voice, my tears. Those words were forced out, not by me. They had to be spoken. God was giving us a gift. My heart was stabbed through deeply. He wants to tell me that He loves me? That's it? Then in a moment of revelation, "It's that important that I we know that He loves us. And that we are small ." He gave the gift of a tongue and an interpretation to an unlikely audience. His message is important. I was struck through with the weight of this moment. A moment when, and just for a moment, we transcended the line between space and time, the mundane reality always at our fingertips and the invisible spiritual plane of glorification.
***to be continued***
***EDIT: After this post was read by a number of people who are far more educated than myself, my Senior Pastor pointed out that what I thought was the gift of interpretation of a tongue was probably the gift of prophesy instead. This doesn't make the evening less meaningful or negate the message. The only reason I post this edit is to help other believers deepen their understanding of the spiritual gifts and develop sound theology. Here is what my small group leader wrote in an email on this subject-
I've been reading good books lately and thinking about important things. Soul work. I am slowly softened, continually regenerated. The Holy Spirit comes and guides me, purposefully it seems, to the stuff I need to hear, need to read, need to savour. This past week, a new wind began to blow in my devotions. Tuesday night (Wednesday morning, really), I sat with glazed eyes and watched Eric and Aaron play their 1,000th game of Tetris that night. It wasn't mind numbing though- real conversation was happening. The men were talking, building each other up, this is the technology-age take on sitting in the boat fishin' and talkin' about nothin'. You know how guys have to DO something to bond. Anyway, finally Aaron announced that he really needed to go. He had to get up early for Ecclesiastes, to read it. He said, "It's kind of blowing my mind." I asked why, and he told me.
Next morning, I was sucked into Ecclesiastes too. Solomon had done it all. He was the wisest man to ever live. The richest man in the land, he travelled the known world and tried it all: women, food, drink, adventure, power, insight, pleasure. His final word on all of it- "There is nothing new under the sun." Ultimately, life is a breath. In the end, we all die. In the end, your Nobel Peace Prize is going to rot. Your banking empire will be handed down to someone who will squander it. Even your lifelong investment in training and loving your own children may be all for naught. Again and again, Solomon declares "This too is meaningless."
Slowly, so slowly I was getting a picture. A feeling. Ecclesiastes compelled me. Instead of feeling disheartened and despairing by the "meaningless" state of life, I was stable, steady, at peace. Wednesday morning, Thursday morning, I read and read. I drank in the repetitive nature of the book,
"Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God willThursday evening, we travelled to small group. It was "full group", and the plan was for extended prayer time. I considered my week, full of late nights and early mornings (Ecclesiastes included), and thought I might actually fall asleep for extended prayer time. I arrived nauseated with exhaustion and car sickness. But joyful. Joyful in the fellowship of other believers, trusting that God was there.
call the past to account." (vs. 3:15)
Extended prayer time wasn't fatiguing. There were heartfelt petitions for employment, healing, refreshing. Tears were poured and hearts were laid bare, desiring more. More from God, would the Holy Spirit come and meet us? A Brother believed that God was giving him a tongue for the Body. Yes, that. Speaking in tongues at a small group. I'd never heard it before, but I *we* believe that it isn't outside the realm of possibility. We are open, and so we prayed and invited the Holy Spirit and all His giftings, including discernment.
He prayed and we listened, silently asking for interpretation. Willing, but travelling uncharted waters. Like a child who looks to their parent, "Is this OK dad? I've never done this before.", looking for the assuring smile and nod from Father. I sensed that more was coming. The Holy Spirit was moving, washing through the room, coming over me with warm pressure. Scared, dependent, shaking, on the edge of a precipice of faith. We're not used to following. It still feels scary, bringing an unfamiliar rush. This feeling is distantly familiar, but it makes the breath catch in my throat each time. Then the interpretation came,
"He wants us to know that He loves us. He loves us. We are
small. But He loves us. He. gave. his. own. son. for us. He
loves us."
That was my voice, my tears. Those words were forced out, not by me. They had to be spoken. God was giving us a gift. My heart was stabbed through deeply. He wants to tell me that He loves me? That's it? Then in a moment of revelation, "It's that important that I we know that He loves us. And that we are small ." He gave the gift of a tongue and an interpretation to an unlikely audience. His message is important. I was struck through with the weight of this moment. A moment when, and just for a moment, we transcended the line between space and time, the mundane reality always at our fingertips and the invisible spiritual plane of glorification.
***to be continued***
***EDIT: After this post was read by a number of people who are far more educated than myself, my Senior Pastor pointed out that what I thought was the gift of interpretation of a tongue was probably the gift of prophesy instead. This doesn't make the evening less meaningful or negate the message. The only reason I post this edit is to help other believers deepen their understanding of the spiritual gifts and develop sound theology. Here is what my small group leader wrote in an email on this subject-
Becca Pat's words after the tongue was spoken was not an interpretation of the tongue, it was a gift of prophecy. How do we know that's true? If you read through 1 Corinthians 14:13-19, it describes the gift of tongues: "I will sing praise with my spirit....give thanks with your spirit". Reading directly from my notes from the Holy Spirit Seminar 2 months ago: "What are tongues? Speech directed towards God. Prayer or praise or thanksgiving to God.... The interpretation will always be prayer or praise or thanks to God. If not, it is not an interpretation."
Just thought I should clarify. Grace to you all!***
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