Saturday, February 21st

Dear Hope,

We are especially thankful to God for you these days. We know that you are just on loan to us from your heavenly Father, but we've become awfully attached and could not easily let you go. A few days ago, you had a very serious allergic reaction. I thought that you could safely eat eggs, but we found out that your allergy is unpredictable, to say the least. I noticed you coughing after breakfast, but quickly your cough turned to wheezing, and then to gasping for air. Your airways were closing and your little body couldn't get the air you needed. In minutes, it was clear that this was an emergency. I've only filled one prescription for you in your 16 months with us, the epi-pens last fall. I assumed we would never use them, that they were completely a precautionary measure. But I am so thankful that we had them. Daddy assured me that I wasn't overreacting; they were probably life-saving. I'm also so thankful that Daddy was here with us. While I held you, he stuck you (hard!) with the first shot of your life. We were all pretty scared... Eva hid under the couch pillows crying, while I cried big, silent tears watching you struggle to breath and writhing from the pain of a big 'ol needle.

You didn't get better immediately, so I called 911 and talked to a paramedic who assured me help was on the way. Daddy didn't feel like waiting, so I held Eva close as Daddy rushed you, blue lips and red face, out the back door. He told us later that just getting into the cold winter air helped, and by the time you were at the Emergency Room (4 blocks away) you were breathing almost normally. An hour later, you were home and we were on the phone with your pediatrician discussing how to watch you and what to expect next. The epinephrine left you dizzy, a little delusional, and very active. You buzzed around the house for the next hour, still wheezing a bit, but fell asleep with a smile on your face in your booster seat at lunch. After your nap you were totally back to normal. The only visible evidence of the ordeal is a dime sized bruise where the injector pressed against your leg.

Hope, you should know that there are a lot of people who love you. While you were on your way to the ER, Eva and I prayed for you. We then sent a text to some friends and close family, asking for prayer. Over the next day or so, we got lots of phone calls and text messages asking about you, telling us that people were praying for you. I also called our small group leader who sent an email to the whole church. You had your own little prayer posse that day!

Waiting at home is a hard thing for me to do. I wanted to know that you were going to be OK, but God gave me faith in his promise of protection. He loves you more than we do! That is hard for a mama to imagine. I wanted to know that I would hear your joyful voice, see your toothy grin, watch you stick your tounge out at me again. In the moments after such a scary event, Eva and I talked about what precious gifts our daughters are to Daddy and me. You bring so much life and silly fun into our home, and truly, we can't imagine going on without the whole family together. We sure love you, and we're thankful to God for watching over our dear baby.

love, mommy